on being pregnant (for the fourth time)

this may not be for the faint of heart.

or for any person who has not been pregnant before.

i should start with the fact

i have never "enjoyed" being pregnant.

i am not one of those people that "glows" when she is with child.

i like to be busy and active.

i like my naturally thinnish body.

i like being a wee bit athletic.

but this time has been a doozy.

i am l.a.r.g.e.

people make comments about it daily.

even women. who have been pregnant before.

don't they know better?

my belly button popped out at nine weeks.

seriously.

and my belly looks like snoopy's nose.

seriously.

the pregnancy rash that i had so bad is gradually dissipating.

thank the lord.

please don't come back.

but i am still itchy.  all over.

my back hurts.

my underwear are too tight.

and have i mentioned that i am tired?

like exhausted.

almost narcoleptic.

it could be that i chase three little kids all day,

along with doing all the laundry, cleaning a 3500 sq. foot house,

cooking every meal, packing every lunch box, volunteering in two different classrooms, potty training, soccer, broadway bound, mommy/baby music class...

or it could be just pregnancy.

what happened to the second trimester energy?

maybe you just don't get it the fourth time around.

but,

every time i look around and see a baby

i can't help but feel teary.

i get one of those again.

(and it WILL be the last)

but one last time i get to have a teeny person in my house.

one that snuggles all day

and loves me all the time.

i know it is all worth it.

i never dreamed at 35 i would be the mother of four children.

i never though we would have four children.

but you know what?

i can't wait.